Is there something you want so badly, but the harder you strive for it, the more it seems to slip out of reach? You might be putting the exact wrong message out to the universe without even realizing it. One thing I’ve learned in three-plus decades as a medium and Spiritual teacher is that soul is a natural magnet which you will draw to you that what you are presently thinking.

I recently spent time with someone who was caught in a trap of his own making – until he realized that by his thoughts and words he was unwittingly attracting the very thing he feared the most.

I got a call from my old neighbor Charles and was shocked to learn that he had moved out of his house and was separated from his family. This was a bit of a surprise to me because over the years I’d observed how dedicated he was to maintaining his home and providing for his wife and three daughters. However, when I gave the matter more thought, I realized that the sad result was inevitable – although not irreversible.

Charles had grown up in a broken home, and experienced poverty and a turbulent existence as a young boy. He had vowed to build a better life for himself, and through hard work and determination, he did just that. But underneath his successful career, lovely family and luxurious home lurked an overwhelming fear. Fear that he was undeserving and everything would be taken away if he didn’t spend every minute looking for threats and protecting his home and possessions. Not only did his fear keep Charles from enjoying and embracing his good fortune, but it caused jealousy and anxiety to erode his relationship with his family. Worst of all, by focusing so much energy on what he feared, he actually started to attract loss. Suddenly everything started falling apart, and his worst fears were realized when his wife filed for separation.

I’m glad I ran into Charles when I did. I performed an intense energetic cleanse, where I guided him through releasing the thoughts, beliefs and childhood trauma he was holding on to. I helped him to clear his energy field and make room for true healing to occur. Most importantly, when he released the fear, he was able to see himself as an unlimited being – deserving of good fortune, security and the love of his family. Luckily, it wasn’t long before his wife saw the deep change in him, and he was reunited with his family.

Here are a few things to keep in mind to attract everything you desire – and not what you fear!

– Create your own positive affirmations – and repeat them often. I start each day with these simple words “Healthy an I, Happy am I, Holy am I, and so it is…” They set me on the right course, and send a confirmation to the universe about what is important to me.

–  Eliminate the negative! You are a limitless, divine being whose natural frequency is joy and unconditional love. Open yourself up to love, and there will be no room for fear and self-doubt.

– Visualize what you desire. Paint a picture in your mind of your authentic life – the life you dream of living. Imagine yourself every day living that life, happy and fully in sync with your soul. The more you imagine it, the more your life will change to match your inner picture.

– Spend time in the stillness. Would you send an important letter on dirty, scuffed up paper, with smudges and ink blots? Clear your mind with meditation and mindful, healthy living so that your thought-messages transmit on a clean clear frequency.

I often say to people that today as you look at yourself, you are a compilation of all the thoughts and actions that make up your past. So be aware that you are like a magnet, and everything you think, do or say influences what you attract into your life.