Get Honest With Yourself

Explore James' Teachings and Insights on All Things Spiritual

Get Honest With Yourself

Jan 19, 2022 | JVP's Blog

Is there something standing between you and the life you long for? Do you start every year with high hopes and positive expectations, only to be let down? You remind yourself that things aren’t so bad, but a part of you longs for something special – a job, a relationship, or a purpose that ignites your soul.

A few moments of self-reflection might be just what you need.

I want you to try something. This year, instead of jumping right into setting goals and making plans, give yourself time to examine your current state of being. At the beginning of each calendar year, I make it a point to spend several hours alone with my journal taking a personal assessment of WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW. I consider everything: my physical and emotional health, the state of my relationships, my work/life balance, where I’m spending my time, and what patterns and signs are catching my attention.

I write everything that comes to mind down in my journal, letting the words flow without a lot of editing. If I get stuck, I ask my guides for help and sit quietly for a few moments so I can absorb the wisdom they have to share with me.

This ritual helps me to clearly see where I am, and from there I can decide what changes and actions will get me where I want to go (but that comes later).

Along with my practice of meditation and daily mindful walks in my garden, my personal inventory is one of the “secret weapons” that allows me to continue to lead a joyful and fulfilling life – even when life throws challenges in my path.

Here are three steps to creating a personal assessment of your own life. This will serve as a foundation for creating the life of your dreams.

Part 1 – Creating Your Personal Assessment
Start by looking at key areas of your life. It’s a lot like getting a medical checkup. Before a doctor can give you meaningful medical advice, they need to check your current statistics and state of health- height, weight, blood pressure, heartbeat, lungs, etc.

If you’re taking inventory for the first time, this exercise will allow you to create a quick history so you can look back and identify important habits, trends, and behaviors.

Follow these simple steps:

  1. Take a piece of paper and make four columns. On the far-left column, list the following items down the side:
      • Relationships
      • Career
      • Health
      • Education/Learning
      • Hobbies
      • Friendship
      • Happiness
      • Fun
      • Fulfillment (am I living my purpose?)
  1. On the top of the second column, write 10 Years Ago, then on top of the next column 1 Year Ago, and finally, on top of column 4, write today’s date.
  2. Now, go line by line and rank on a scale of 1-10 how satisfied you are with each area listed. For example: relationships are on line #1, so start by rating how happy you were ten years ago, one year ago, and today.


Fill in the rest of your chart, and if you’re not sure of an answer, tune into your intuition. Your inner wisdom will give you all the clues you need.

Part 2 – Determining What’s Holding You Back
As you view the results, certain sections of your assessment will stand out. There are probably areas where you’re doing great. Think about why. What’s the source of your success? I’ll be willing to bet those are the areas where your actions are in harmony with your true desires. When you do something that you love, time slips away, and you don’t even feel it passing. I experience this flow when I’m gardening or working with my students.

On the other hand, there are bound to be some opportunities for improvement. Instead of beating yourself up about them, give those areas some deep thought. Are your career scores low because you fear taking a risk? Are you skipping your exercise routine because you have put yourself last on your priority list, putting everyone and everything ahead of your own needs? Do you lack friends or struggle in relationships because of insecurities or trauma that you are holding on to?

Take a hard look – without judgement – of those areas that need improvement and ask yourself these questions:

Is there a pattern I can break?

Is there someone I need to forgive (it might be yourself)?

What is truly important to me?

What am I afraid of?

It’s crazy how this simple exercise can help you see things clearly. You’ll be able to spot where you have made improvements, and maybe some areas where things have gotten worse. But most importantly, some serious self reflection will shine a light on what’s holding you back from living the life you desire – and what you can do to move onward and upward.

Positive change starts with awareness. If you haven’t already watched them, I hope you’ll take some time to enjoy my FREE Life Coach 3-Video Masterclass. As you watch, I urge you to do a little soul searching and create your own inventory, so you ‘ll know where you’re starting and be ready to embark on your own amazing journey to health, happiness and success!