Have you noticed how people seem to repeat patterns – cycling through the same life experiences over and over again? Maybe your sister is on her third marriage and can’t understand why each husband displayed the same negative traits after a few months. Or you have a friend who can’t get it together financially – he seems to suffer freakishly bad luck at every turn. Perhaps you yourself consistently sabotage promising jobs and friendships by overreacting with anger at imagined slights.
These patterns might seem like chance or bad luck, but in fact just about everyone has a texture to their life that they have carried since childhood. Sometimes, the patterns go back even farther – in my years as a medium I’ve seen patterns carried across multiple lifetimes. I teach my students that the earth is the schoolroom to the soul. For many people, the key lesson they are tasked with learning is how to break free of the emotional chains that are holding them back so they can fulfill their soul destiny.
Do any of these self-destructive themes keep showing up in your life?
- Crippling fear of something (change, abandonment, illness – whatever)
- Emotional eating, or gaining weight, dieting, then gaining it back
- Constant “issues” with friends, bosses, family members
- Attracting the same type of people in your life
- Addictions, recoveries and relapses
- Procrastination, disorganization, inability to complete projects
- Destructive, attention seeking behavior
- Any unwanted situation that repeats itself
Roots of relationship patterns.
No one wants to keep repeating bad behaviors, but old habits and patterns can be tough to break when they’re deeply rooted in the past of this lifetime or an earlier one. If you have memories of severe neglect, pain, abandonment or lack of love, your subconscious can get stuck trying to re-create the original circumstances of those hurts in hopes that this time things will “turn out differently.” For that reason, you might stay in a relationship with a person who recreates exactly the situation that you should be avoiding. You will likely be subconsciously drawn to these people, then find yourself wondering why you always wind up with abusive bosses, self centered friends, and withdrawn and unsupportive partners.
Patterns have a magnetic pull that makes it easy to pass up (or overlook) healthier alternatives.
Breaking our patterns.
Breaking negative patterns (especially the ones we have carried through several lifetimes) isn’t easy, but it can be done. Here’s how to get started:
– Be fully conscious in the moment. Mindfulness teaches you to focus on the present, not the past or the future. By practicing mindfulness, you become more aware of the choices you are making from moment to moment, and avoid going on “autopilot” where you might slip into old grooves.
– Imagine yourself living your best life. Paint a vivid mental picture of who you want to be. Words are important, so remember to make this a positive affirmation. For example, say, “I am healthy and energetic” rather than “I don’t want to feel tired and lazy any more.”
– Listen to people you trust. If your spouse, parent or a trusted friend mentions that you are traveling down a familiar (rocky) path, don’t immediately get defensive and discount what they’re saying. Take their comment as a reminder to slow down and consider the choice you’re making.
– Develop your intuition, and pay attention to it! Your own wise inner knowing will send you signals when you’re about to repeat a destructive pattern. Nurture that voice inside of you so that you don’t ignore red flags alerting you to “dangerous choices ahead.”
With a little awareness and focus you can replace negative patterns with positive ones. Design and manifest a bright future that matches your own desires, rather than trying to correct a past that you can’t change. Luckily, you’re not alone! Your intuition will guide you as you chart your new path. The first step on your path to transformation starts now!